1. You feel good about yourself and your world.
A good relationship makes you feel great. It should fill in your
"gaps" and make you feel whole. It should give you emotional strength
and help you to feel that everything is ok - and will continue to be.
Another good sign is that you're better able to survive disasters at
work, at home, etc. - not because you know someone will be there to
solve them, but because you know that YOU can.
2. You look forward to spending time together.
Far too many couples stay together out of habit. They don't really
look forward to being together and try to find ways to avoid it. For
example, they always try to include other friends, go to an event so
that they'll have something to do, etc.
Another sign is fear of the "conversation lag" where nobody has
anything to say. If your relationship is "right", you'll enjoy
spending quality time together - even when it's quiet.
3. You respect your partner, and "talk him or her up."
Is there anyone that agrees with everything someone else says or
thinks? (I can tell you - nobody agrees with everything I say!)
There's no reason you have to agree with everything your partner says
or thinks either. However, you should RESPECT them for it - right or
wrong.
Further, when you respect someone - really respect them - you find
yourself "talking them up" to people. You say things like, "You know,
my girlfriend said something that I don't agree with, but it really
made me think" or "My husband really knows about wood working - you
should ask him about it."
What this really shows is your focus - if you find you're always
talking about yourself, you're not focused on your partner - or the
relationship.
4. You are really interested in what he or she thinks.
Along with respect, you'll find that you are interested in your
partner's thoughts on different things - and you ask. You might have
heard the President of your company say something and you ask your
wife to get her take on it. Or, you may have come up with an idea that
you want your boyfriend to think about - and you're not afraid of
getting shot down.
5. You are aware of, but ignore their quirks.
Everyone (even YOU bunky!) has his or her little quirks. Your
partner's quirks might even appear cute to you, or at least harmless.
If they're getting to you, you should look more closely at your
relationship in general.
6. Problems don't make you think about breaking up.
All relationships have problems. It's natural and healthy. However, if
every time you fight you feel ready to break up, you should re-think
your relationship. People that have good, solid relationships see
disagreements as a chance to learn more about their lover, and to get
closer. Thus, they don't fear them, but they don't create them either!
7. You aren't scared about losing him or her.
Once you start investing your feelings in a relationship you risk
being hurt. This isn't my rule - it's just the way it is. However, if
you dwell
on the possibility of being hurt, you can't really enjoy the
relationship. Further, you shouldn't be concerned that your lover
isn't happy. If the relationship is secure - you'll know it.
8. You're together "just because."
Many people start dating and then coordinate their lives such that
they have to be together - either for finances, kids, family, work,
the dog, etc. Is there something keeping your relationship together?
If you're together just because you both want to be, you've got a good
reason to stay together! If you're together because you have to be,
you'll likely to start having problems.
9. You appreciate other attractive people, but aren't interested in them.
There is someone more attractive than your boyfriend, girlfriend,
husband or wife. I don't care whom you're with! If your relationship
is good, you still l ike the way other people look, but don't find it
necessary to compare them to your partner. After all ...
10. You are in love.
If you don't know that you're in love, you're not. Love is very
difficult to explain, but one of the best explanations I've seen is
this:
"Love is when you are more concerned with the well being, safety and
happiness of someone else than your own."
DearDear and I've hit all ten points! A perfect score, simply lovely! Hoho! In fact, there is more to it. How about you guys? Is your love life healthy?
