The Gahmen says that the new casin… sorry, sorry, integrated resort, will create 35,000 new jobs. Yay! No need to sell backside oreddy! So dust off your cv’s and faster apply for these wonderful jobs, some of which are listed below:
1. Punter Relations Officer (PRO)
2. Poker Revenue Oversight Secretary (PROS)
3. High-rollers Orientation Organisation and Know-how Executive Relations Services (HOOKERS)
4. Roulette Wheel Spinner (NMPs welcome)
5. Card Dealers
6. Experience-Enhancing Narcotics Distributor (formerly: Drug Dealers. Note: if previous experience, please apply through your parole officer)
7. Craps Dealer
8. Crap Cleaner
9. Organised Crime Relations Manager (please address applications to: Chao Ah Beng c/o Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society)
10. Credit and Loans Officer (experience in selling snake oil, cult membership, pyramid schemes and similar products a plus)
11. Debt Collection Services (ex-Commandos especially encouraged to apply)
12. Pig’s Head Home Deliverymen (a division of Debt Collection Department. Scary tattoos not necessary, but a plus. Address applications to: Mr. Tai Yee Long)
13. Gambling Addiction Treatment Centre (seeking in particular, professionals experienced with aversion therapy, i.e. where patients are made to repeat their addictive behaviour until they’re cured.)
14. Buffet Dish Replacement Staff
15. Vomit Cleanup Janitorial Services
16. Neon Light Bulb Changer
17. Beverage Replenishment Officer
18. Jackpot Machine Testers and Maintenance Engineers (masturbators or other one-armed professionals welcome)
19. Cocktail Server
20. Cock Server
21. Cook (Food)
22. Cook (Accounts Books)
23. Laundry (Clothes)
24. Laundry (Money)
25. Surveillance Operator (must watch carefully to see no one is winning too much)
26. Cage Dancer
27. Burly Guy to Keep Pervs From Harrassing Cage Dancers
28. Guest Ejection Officer
29. People to dress up in retarded animal costumes to keep children distracted while their parents gamble away their school fees (testimonials required)
30. Government Liaison Officer
31. Department of Justification (former civil servants welcome)
