Richard: One day, my then-girlfriend decided that it would taste great if she put toothpaste on my pen*s. Needless to say, it wasn't a pleasant experience, considering it felt like my pen*s had been covered with molten lava.
Nash: One very inexperienced girlfriend of mine yanked my pen*s as though it were a very stubborn slot machine handle. I was in excruciating pain for quite a few hours.
Lou: She put flavored heating massage oil on my pen*s and a few minutes later, I felt as though fire was going to shoot out of it. After a long shower, oddly enough, I didn't seem to mind and got right back into the swing of things.
Andy: I'm pretty basic; a girl bite my pen*s like it was an Oscar Mayer Wiener. I thought I was going to die and, by reflex, I almost slapped her. Luckily, it was nothing serious, but I'm somewhat hesitant to let just anyone go near my little buddy.
Christopher: I went home with a hot woman one night and things got hot and heavy between us. As she went down to my crotch area, I removed my clothes to give her better access and the freedom to maneuver. Well, to my absolute dismay and disgust, she puked on it. She threw up all over my pen*s; that was my pen*s' job, dammit!
