1 The toilet seat is a simple mechanism. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. Simple.
2 Shopping is not a sport. As long as there are no scantily clad women in the ring or extreme violence on the pitch, we will never think of it as one.
3 We can't read your mind. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just tell us what you want.
4 If you have a problem that needs a logical solution, come to us. If you want a sympathetic ear, go to your girlfriends.
5 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an arguement. We only said it to get you off our back then anyway.
6 If something we said made you angry/ sad, you misunderstood us. Remember; we are not as expressive as you are.
7 Whenever possible, save whatever you are to say during commercials, when we are asleep or in a coma.
8 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
9 We are in shape. Round is a shape.
10 If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us, we are bad liars.
